Wednesday, July 15, 2009

No time for a title

So I am officially a slacker extraordinaire! Its been almost 2 months, but I must say that due to the lack of response from my last blog, I have not felt quite the motivation needed to write another. Also, I blew up my computer cord so I can’t just pound it out when I am at home or at the hotel in town and using the internet is expensive and not really that much fun in town with all of the horrible music, crazy distractions and strong desire to just go and take a shower.
Ok enough explaining myself! I only have 10 minutes to write this blog so it is going to be grammatically horrible and very short, but all in all I am still alive!
In the past few months I have been on the usual whirlwind adventure. From digging up 30 liters of peanuts with Mama Witi and crew, to adopting a cat that I have actually kept, to having a Dad’s Iron Chef to talk about work roles in the family, from going to a community theater seminar followed by a brief stint on the beach and then a workshop to learn how I can best serve as a listening ear for my fellow PCVs. I also sang in the health club entertainers group for the “Children of Africa Day” and freaked out all of the villagers! Phew, its been crazy, but awesome. I am starting to grow in new and cool ways, but at the same time I feel let down because in the end when it all comes to, no matter how much I feel that I am part of the people, I am truly becoming Mbena, some crazy thing happens to slap my right back to reality…I am still just the white girl from American who does get to go home and walk away from all of this, this is only my life right now, this is not the life that I know I will wake up every day and be living. It’s so difficult o feel like you are really becoming one with everyone, that you truly are starting to get it, when you feel offended by other white people and their horrible comments, when the oldest woman in the village comes up to you to tell you that you are no longer a white person that you are now a member of their tribe, and then the minute you take yourself out of the context and get to the big city and mix in with the people who really are Tanzanians (and don’t have to try) they only see you for what you are…white/money/really stupid to be here in the first place.
I understand that the whole purpose of this “adventure” is not to become a Tanzania, but relating to the people that I live with and understanding everything I possibly can about how they live is just how I do. There is no other way in my mind and it’s incredibly difficult to get out of that context and then back into it…
Okay 2 more minutes and I’ll just end with an “ I love you all” and I’m sorry if this blog makes no sense. I promise that at some point in the near future I will give a less “feeling” filled blog and a more “action” filled update of my life!
Until then, PEACE AND LOVE

9 comments:

Devon said...

Margaret,
I love that you updated and I can finally comment cause I have a google account!!!YEA! I feel like you sound sad friend!! You are doing an awesome job and you are the reason why people want to do well for others. It isn't your life, but it will change your life. I want you to know how proud I am of you and that I can call you my friend. Keep your head up and heart happy knowing you are loved by people all over the world, and sometimes you might not see it, but you are changing peoples lives everyday!

Rose said...

Dear Margaret;

I was happy to see a new post today. I had been wondering about you for a few weeks now as your blog was silent.

Today is the Jewell Photo Company Picnic, I will miss you there, but will have a drink for you and post a few pics to FB to share with you!

I hear that you will be home for the Christmas Holiday, looking forward to seeing you then!

Peace & Love my friend, keep the faith!

Faye said...

Hey Margaret,

I'm always getting an update about you from your parents. Your dad showed me some awesome pics that you sent him.

Don't let the negative world views of the people outside of your village bother you. It's what's in YOUR heart that counts! You are the one taking action for a cause by being there, even if to them is seems crazy and you don't fit it.

You are an extraordinary person working for a noble cause. Congratulations!

Love,
Your crazy neighbor,
Faye

S. DeVoe said...

Dear Mags,
Amy and I hung out a couple weeks ago, and we talked about you and our crazy times in the CMU CG. We discussed you a bit at the reunion last weekend as well...we miss you bunches! I just wanted to tell you that I've been thinking about you a lot lately and hopefully one of these days I'll catch up completely on your blog!

Mema said...

Keep your head up honey; despite what you think, you are changing lives every day. Most of them probably here in the states, as so many read your blog and recognize what an unbelievable life you are living and how this white girl from Detroit, Michigan can have so much to offer to a country full of strangers. Your heart is full of love and you so willingly share it with anyone that crosses your path. I love you and am more proud of you than words can say. Hang in there, you will be home for Christmas before you know it. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to you. XXXXXOOOOO Mema

chrisc said...

Dearest Margaret: Stay strong stay focused stay you..Beautiful!!! Love Dad.

mom said...

You do get to walk away in another year....but you won't walk away like you came in. All of you make such a difference.You will be stronger,you will have memories and you have made friends for a lifetime. Hard to do, but look at the big picture..You can cook over a fire,poop in a hole, kill rats and ants.a cup becomes a bath....man..all of us are so jealous of your new skills.You Rock. Hugs to my Kate when yu see her. Carol

Renee said...

Love you Margaret. I'm so glad I caught you that day on gmail. It was good to talk to you. My whole family sends their love. :)
Renee <3

Working On Joy said...

Margo,

Love to read your blog when I want to get away to Africa! Even the simple life is not so simple...

Love and Peace,

Nancy